APRIL FOOLS: Piedmont’s New Cryptid


Brave students faced McGowan’s most popular spot, outside the Smith-Williams Art Studio to see if they could snap a photo of this cryptid. // PHOTO EMMA MARTI

Emma Marti and Hannah Osborne

Students and faculty alike are frightened by the new presence seen around Piedmont’s campus. First seen during the 2019-2020 school year, this cryptid has been lovingly referred to as McGowan. 

McGowan has seemed to find a home in the Smith-Williams Art Studio and has been posing as a professor. Students who find themselves in one of McGowan’s classes have many stories about their experiences in his classes. 

Quote from McGowan: “…..[redacted]…..[redacted]……[redacted]”

Chief of Campus Police, Jim Andrews, attempted to reprimand McGowan for spending evenings taunting students, zipping past them back and forth as they walk to their dorms from the library. Unfortunately, Andrews was unable to locate McGowan. 

Some say they saw McGowan when they crossed the Swanson footbridge, hovering around the wetlands. 

“I was taking my environmental science class on a trip in the wetlands when we saw a dark figure lurking around the water,” said professor Debra Dooley. “I was very frightened, but I knew that with the power of science we could take on this cryptid.” 

Junior mass communications major Caden Nelms saw Piedmont’s cryptid hovering down the road one day. He said, “I was shocked. I saw this figure zooming down the hill and surprisingly he was going faster than I ever could.” 

Despite efforts taken on by Dr. Dooley and Chief Andrews, the McGowan cryptid is still running rampant around campus. Students, faculty and professors at Piedmont should make sure they never wander campus alone, because they never know when McGowan could strike next.

This story is part of The Roar’s annual, comprehensive April Fools coverage of Piedmont University.

(hey joshua’s graphic design class!)