Melista: Worse then Snow

BY MELISSA RICE, COLUMNIST

We finally got snow! After weeks upon weeks of perfect December bathing suit weather, we finally got the snow we were waiting for.

What made the snow even better is that we also got a day off of school. However, some people have obviously forgotten our snow history, since they are calling the couple days of snow a “Snowpocalypse.”

You see, just four short years ago, Piedmont was graced with a true Snowpocalypse; snow that closed schools for a whole week and then some. Still people manage to act like the snow is the worst disaster to befall the world. Not the case. Snow is always awesome, and no matter how much crazy it caused, there are a million other things that could have happened to us that would be totally way worse:

 

Miley Cyrus could come in like a wrecking ball.

Zombies could make us their slaves.

An evil villain could steal all the bacon ever.

Roads could ice over with formaldehyde.

Rick Astley could play constantly in the air.

Meat and carbs could be illegal.

Arabic could become the official U.S. language.

Movie tickets could skyrocket. $160 for a    matinee.

Girls could stop just wanting to have fun.

The ground could turn to lava.

Human hands could turn into tree limbs.

Spiders could start taking steroids.

All smart phones could be replaced with ancient flip phones. Or worse, car phones.

It could really rain men. Like real human men falling out of the sky on top of our heads.

See? The snow life isn’t that bad. The snow life is actually a great life. Maybe if we were still living in cabins and teepees, heating our world with fire alone, I’d be singing a different tune about the snow.

I’m actually hoping we get a little more.