Bring home the bacon

By Tyler Dale
Opinions Editor

We live in an age surrounded by the Internet. It affects nearly everything we do. Needless to say, it has become a huge influence on contemporary American society.
Internet culture has become mainstream culture, and whoever doesn’t keep up with it will be left behind. Piedmont is doing a nice job so far. Our Wi-Fi operates at a functional speed, Netflix is no longer blocked, and residents can finally access Xbox Live from their dorm rooms. But as always, we have to keep moving forward to keep up with our generation’s fast-paced trends. And our next logical step takes place somewhere you may not expect: the caf. How, you ask? One word: bacon.
First of all, bacon is delicious. But that’s not the only thing. Contemporary society has a massive obsession with bacon. And I can’t say I blame them. It’s delicious. Many people argue that this obsession exploded on the Internet. This can be observed by taking a look at the popular YouTube channel “Epic Meal Time.” This channel has accumulated over six million subscribers by recording themselves while they prepare and consume massive, complex recipes. Almost all of these involve bacon, and after watching for a few minutes it’s easy to understand just how seriously they take their bacon. Which they should, because it’s phenomenal.
But they’re not the only ones. Websites all across the web have been making memes, products, videos, and even entire websites all dedicated to delicious bacon. The delicious pork strips have transcended typical food and become a widespread cultural phenomenon.
Piedmont’s cafeteria needs to capitalize on this phenomenon, quickly. When I walk into the caf it’s difficult not to notice the distinct lack of bacon. And that’s a travesty because it’s delicious. Piedmont needs more bacon in the caf. Now I’m not saying they need to emulate “Epic Meal Time” and make a bacon-cheese-chicken wing-cholesterol-bypass-orgy, but as popular and delicious as bacon is, it needs a presence. The weekend brunches have sausage, gravy, biscuits, and every breakfast food you could want except for bacon. The sandwich line: no bacon. Imagine how happy students would be if they could get a BLT or a bacon grilled cheese, both of which would be delicious. The sandwich station should have bacon readily available at all times. I’m not sure how cost-effective it would be for them to supply a constant stream of delicious bacon to the sandwich station, but it’s definitely something that should be considered. Because bacon is delicious. Keep it in mind, Piedmont. And remember: it’s not just delicious and amazing and perfect and full of protein; but it’s a vital part of our rich modern American culture. Also, did I mention that it’s delicious? Because it is.