Opinion: TBH, A Horse and Buggy Would Beat the Piedmont Shuttle (April Fools)

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Written by Laura Alyssa Platé, News Editor

I don’t know if y’all remember “like for a tbh,” and I know no one liked for one, but here it is: TBH, a horse and buggy would beat the Piedmont shuttle.

The only way the shuttles might prevail is if the race was down Georgia St. and one of the horses physically fell into one of the potholes and disappeared into the abyss. That isn’t even fair on the horses though, because the Piedmont shuttle might crack an axel in that same situation.

The point being, the shuttle is so slow. A lion can run 50 mph, so I feel like our shuttle should at least be able to get us Lions to class on time. The University of Maryland’s mascot is a turtle. I think it is conceivable he could get from Maryland to Demorest, pick us up on his shell and tort us across campus to class faster than the shuttle could.

I would like to add a rider to the next piece of legislation that students get to vote on for a horse and buggy so that we might make it to our 8ams by 8 a.m. the day they happen. We can even name the horses shuttle and van so that the line item doesn’t have to change in next year’s budget.