Honesty Corner with Albritton: Asexuality


In today’s society almost everything is sexualized. The majority of commercials, TV shows and movies cater to our sexual world. It doesn’t matter where you look — it will always be there. The media is an extreme conduit that is constantly assaulting us with “sexy” things — “Sexiest Man Alive,” “How to Please Your Man,” even mascara is labeled as being able to give you “Bold and Sexy!” lashes.

All of this, in my opinion, is a majorly bad influence. Nowadays, relationships are becoming entirely too focused on the sexual aspect between two (or more, I don’t judge) people instead of how they feel about each other emotionally. Romance is becoming less and less important. Sexual gifts are replacing romantic and heartfelt ones. In such a world, I have resigned myself to never being in a relationship with another person.

You see, I identify as asexual. That means that I have no desire to partake in anything intimate with another person. I don’t like the hugging, the kissing, the cuddling and I especially don’t like the sexing.

When people find out I’m asexual, I get so many questions. “Did you have a traumatic experience when you were younger?” Maybe. Maybe not. Whether I did or not has nothing to do with my being asexual. It’s just who I am, and I’m just not interested. “So, you don’t find anyone attractive?” That is not even close to the truth. I find plenty of people attractive, just not in the way most people do.

“What if you just haven’t found the right person?” “I’m sure you’ll feel different when the right person comes along.” Uh, no. It doesn’t work that way. Too much physical contact (even with friends or family) skeeves me out. That won’t just magically disappear — you can keep your ideals of a fated and mystical connection away from me.

I don’t, and never will, want to be in a physical relationship with someone. That doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t be opposed to a romantic and emotional relationship. However, the likelihood of me finding someone that would be 100 percent OK with not even holding hands is close to nonexistent. It’s almost impossible for our society to allow that. I would have to find another asexual person that I just so happen to like as more than friends (and I don’t like most people). Now, I’m not an expert or anything, but I’m willing to bet that there isn’t an overabundance of asexual people out there.

I’m OK with that though. I may never find romantic love, and you can forget getting married, but that’s OK. I’ve made peace with it, and I’ve made peace with myself. I’m not weird or screwed up — nothing is wrong with me. I’m just a little different. I’m unique. You may not agree with me, and you may think that my sexuality is not legitimate, but guess what — I don’t care what you think. I will always be proud to be myself, even if that means going against the largest norm in our current world.