“You do not have to play sports; you just have to be involved in something.”
Growing up I heard this phrase annually.
My parents never pressured me. They supported my passions – whether it was art, music or sports – with unwavering pride. They never expected me to be the best at whatever I did, they just expected me to choose to participate in something I enjoyed.
And for that I am eternally grateful.
My parents fully supported my decisions and even sat down with me every year to ensure that I was pursuing what I wanted.
Yet, without external force, I became burdened with the heavy weight of perfectionism.
Avoiding failure at all costs in everything that I was a part of seemed to be a very tall order that was not going to come easy.
I’ll cut to the chase – it didn’t.
High school was filled with full days of class before heading to soccer practice for two, sometimes four hours a night, then coming home to study for advanced placement tests.
College was filled with never taking less than 16 credit hours per semester (minus my first), soccer practice, lifts and travel seven days a week, writing and editing for the school newspaper and the multitude of internships and jobs that would hopefully set me up for the perfect career.
I’ve spent all my time chasing what’s next.
Granted, I accomplished many things in both high school and college that I wouldn’t trade for the world.
Some may say the pressure produced a diamond.
In reality, the stress of curating everything perfectly can lead to depression and anxiety, especially when external factors come into play, and the perfectionist must give up control.
Let’s just say we love it when things go our way.
The adrenaline of having success leaves the perfectionist in search of taking on anything and everything to prove that they are successful. Many times, a perfectionist may have already found success but is blinded by potential opportunities to realize it.
But this constant uphill climb is exhausting.
No matter how many times a perfectionist tells themselves that they can keep up, they cannot without straining their mental or physical health.
Rest is essential, but it is often the first sacrifice when a perfectionist must give something up. Allowing one’s body and mind to rest through adequate sleep is the most essential factor for the perfect functioning of the body and mind.
Although the pressure to be perfect is rooted in a good heart and high standards for oneself, the effects can be detrimental.
Instead of diamonds, the pressure can just produce burnout.
