Earlier last week, Piedmont University president, James Mellichamp, announced that Piedmont will be selling its wireless internet. This has left students and faculty asking multiple questions.

“The internet connection is already slow during my class time,” said History Professor Ryan Franklin. “what does Mellichamp want us to do if the connection is extra slow during a presentation or lecture? Cancel class.”

Anthony Jordan, a senior criminal justice major and athlete here at Piedmont University, is also on the fence about this new change. “I have been at piedmont for all four years of college and honestly the wifi connection has seemingly gotten worse and worse every year,” said Jordan. “I think if Mellichamp actually goes through with this idea that he should at least give money to the sports programs here (track and field)  and not just pocket the money and buy new cars.”

President Mellichamp ensured Piedmont faculty and students that it would benefit them to embrace the changes being made here at Piedmont. “I think this is the best idea I have come up with in years,” said Mellichamp. “More money contributions can lead to more buildings for education and also help with our construction of new dorms for incoming freshman.”

As it seems that most people outside of President Mellichamp do not like the idea of selling Piedmont’s wifi many have imposed the question “Why can’t Piedmont switch to a wired internet system?”

Imagine walking into every classroom and there are just wires laid out everywhere trying to connect each computer to the router down the hall. “A wired internet system wouldn’t be a bad idea until the school has to buy thousands of routers and wires to connect every computer,” said Spanish professor Jeff Bowers. “Piedmont needs to prioritize themselves first and this is not a good way of doing that, outside money is not that important and we need to put education first.”

Piedmont University and President Mellichamp plan to start selling the school’s internet to local businesses and families first before expanding their horizons later.

This story is part of The Roar’s annual, comprehensive April Fools coverage of Piedmont University.