Students Gear Up for ‘Improved’ Sign-ups



Student Affairs has teamed up with the Registrar’s Office to offer a more effective method of signing-up for housing and registering for classes.

“We’re the first to implement such a strategy, but we believe it will spark a strong response in the student body,” said a sign posted in both the student center and Registrar’s office.  “Housing and registration are adopting a true ‘first-come, first-served’ approach, and students are encouraged to visit the Cornucopia on the Quad before proceeding with sign-ups.”

The signage has indeed sparked a response in the student body, some gearing up for what may be the toughest sign-ups of their college careers, others debating whether or not to wait out the inevitable chaos in the relative safety of their dorms.

“It’s not like they’re going to come sweep the rooms out from under us yet, so I feel safer in my dorm,” said one weary student.  “They can’t come sweep the rooms out from under us yet, can they?”

The signage remains the only official word from both student affairs and the registrar’s, leading some to believe they have some unexpected surprises in store.  One sign in particular states that at any time, wild animals may be released in the fray of students In order to level out the playing field.  

The Cornucopia spotted on the quad remains on lockdown, presumably until the first morning of housing/registration.  Some students have speculated it contains supplies, such as food from the Caf.  Others have speculated it may in fact contain weapons, such as food from the Caf.

“Whatever’s in there, I just hope it’s helpful,” said a freshman.  “I just really need to get that science course out of the way.”

In upcoming events, student affairs is hosting another blood drive at the conclusion of housing/registration sign-ups.