By NIC SRIDEJ
In a suspicious turn of events, the Grill on Georgia Street is still standing. Conspiracy theorists have formulated a theory which they believe reveals the true reason behind the Grill’s
“That building is sitting on something,” said a Demorest resident, a self-proclaimed expert on all things suspicious in the city of Demorest. “It might be gold. It might be oil. Maybe a body or two. But there’s something there.”
The resident claims what he speaks is truth, but that no one will take him seriously. “The local authorities have to be in on it. They have to be,” he said. “Why else would they ignore my questions?”
The local authorities have no recollection of the man’s visit, although they did mention seeing someone walking around town wearing a boot as a hat.
Initial reports stated that the Grill would be torn down and construction would begin on the new student center over spring break.
“They’ve been saying that it’ll be gone since last year,” the conspiracy theorist said. “But every time, for some reason, they don’t. Maybe it’s aliens.”
A poll of the student body revealed a general apathy towards the Grill’s current condition and alleged fate. One student said that as long as he has an opportunity to use the rest of his Grill Bucks, he doesn’t care either way.
There was no comment from administration on the matter.
“They’re not saying anything because they don’t want us to find out what’s hiding beneath the Grill’s inconspicuous shell.”
Surveys revealed that most believe the Grill will eventually be taken down; they’re just not sure of when. It also revealed that this particular survey was less than effective, surveyors only receiving one completed survey and a crumpled up napkin that had “Conspiracy” written on it.