With recent weather developments in the realm of hurricanes and tropical storms, it’s wise to prepare for the possibility of a blackout or two. We have already experienced one campus-wide blackout this semester, and I want to make sure that everyone understands what they should do in the event that this kind of emergency happens again. 

I know that Mark Jestel recently sent out an email explaining the proper protocol during a power outage, but I thought I would give out some extra advice on the topic. 

When the power goes out, there is one thing that you should always immediately do. A lot of you already know what it is and demonstrated that knowledge during our most recent outage, and let me tell you, I noticed – I really did. For those of you who don’t know, your first step should be to immediately start panicking. If you freak out enough the power might turn back on faster. It also helps if you continually flick the light switch. 

Your next step, should the power not come back on, is to yell. Screaming is not always the correct course of action to take in a situation, but when something as terrifying as no power happens, yelling is completely acceptable. In fact, the louder you are and the deeper into quiet hours it is, the better. Everyone else will understand where you are coming from, so do not worry about people trying to sleep or anyone getting upset. 

Sometimes, the panic and the yelling is not enough, and you need to take it up and extra notch. Again, some of you proved that you know what needs to be done. As for the rest of you, this next step is much easier if you own a really loud truck. If you already have one, great! Now, gather up your friends, pile them into your truck and drive around campus yelling at the top of your lungs. Drive that truck around and make sure that everyone knows what is going on. 

The last thing you should do is use the darkness to your advantage. You need to make sure anyone walking around is aware of the blackout and is kept on their toes. It is your responsibility to make sure that they are prepared for anything, so it is a good idea to jump out at people and scare them while they are going by. They may get mad initially, but soon they will realize that you did it for the greater good, that you would for no reason do such a thing out of immaturity. That would be just absurd. 

That’s it; if you follow my advice, you will get through a power outage with no trouble at all. Everything will go smoothly. 

For real though? Please DO NOT do any of the before mentioned things. The best thing you can do is stay calm, be a responsible adult, and follow the advice from your ResLife staff and Mr. Jestel’s email.