By AMANDA DUKES
After three months of summer relaxation, it can be easy to forget what the life of a successful student entails. Rather than making common academic mistakes at the start of a new school year, here are three things to keep in mind:
Number one: You cannot, nor could you ever, “pull off” a quality paper overnight. We all know it’s possible to write it in one night, but it won’t be a paper worth turning into your professor.
RedBull, procrastination and a tendency towards self-destruction have practically made all-nighters a staple in Millennial academic behavior. A precious few have been spared from the panic that comes when five o’clock rolls around, but there are still six-hundred words to go.
We all know it’s possible to write a paper overnight- and that’s the problem. You know you wrote that paper last night. The barista that saw you start crying when they gave you your coffee knows. Your roommate who heard you laughing during your 2:00 a.m. YouTube binge knows. But most importantly, your professor knows.
They know because your shirt isn’t buttoned correctly, you’re clutching your coffee like a lifeline and you inform every single one of your friends- loudly- that you stayed up all night to do the assignment. You probably even fist-bumped them.
There is no doubt that your professor knows. They also know because they aren’t stupid, despite what you may have read on RateMyProfessor.com, and they can tell if a paper has been proofread.
Number two: You will not “just remember it.” You write that down right now.
I don’t care if the professor is telling you a fact you’ve known since middle school. Make sure you write it down.
Because now, instead of wondering what the professor was talking about while you were putting the finishing touches on the Batmobile you were sketching, you’ll remember.
Because you took actual notes rather than drawing extraordinarily detailed cityscapes.
Yes, the fact you drew all those tiny windows is impressive, but it will not help you remember what the Edict of Nantes said.
For those of you who claim taking notes is distracting to what the professor is saying and you’d rather just listen, listen up: you are wrong.
Unless you have an eidetic memory, you cannot remember an entire semester’s worth of information if you don’t write anything down.
Do you remember any of the lectures from last semester’s classes? Not, “oh, we talked about Pavlov that one day.” Do you remember what, precisely, your teacher said about Pavlov? Most likely not, because you only remember approximately 20 percent of what you hear. And, usually, that 20 percent consists of the hilarious and mildly disturbing anecdotes your professor spouted about that time he or she mud-wrestled on a riverbank.
Number three: There is a Dunkin’ Donuts less than a hundred feet from campus, and they have a rewards program.